The aftermath
The definition of aftermath is the consequences or aftereffects of a significant unpleasant event. We all have situations we have faced and the aftermath that wasn’t fun. Those of us that live in Texas and the south face the aftermath of major storms, whether it be tornados, hurricanes or wind and rain. There was a storm last June that had 2 ½ inch spiky hail and I have to say that was one of the scariest things I have heard, especially when it started pounding on my windows. I have evidence to the fact in my freezer. Yes, I did save one of the hail pieces! Those who live in Colorado and colder weather climate face the aftermath of snow and I mean it can snow there. Places in other countries face the aftermath of tsunamis and earthquakes. We faced earthquakes in California, and we had our share of them living there for 17 years. War is a horrible thing and those who face it live with the aftermath of death and destruction. Financial fallout has an aftermath. Divorce has an aftermath, especially if there are children involved; even a breakup of some kind has an aftermath. A major move can have an aftermath, especially if you have family, close friends and have lived in one place for any significant time. I have never served in the military and thank you to those of you who have served and are serving now, but I am sure that when you are in the military and moves happen, there is aftermath. You have gotten close to friends and maybe have family there and now again you are moving to another assignment. You must start the process all over again of finding friends, schools, grocery stores and doctor, church, etc.
The last few months I have been dealing with the aftermath of stuff accumulated during my thirty-three and a half years of marriage. I shouldn’t say just marriage stuff, but things accumulated from my youth. Not all of it is bad, in fact most of it isn’t. However, it was a lot of stuff.
We moved and now magically it has been over 2 years. How in the world did that go by so fast? This past fall I decided I finally needed to get all the stuff of Mark’s that I had not gone through before the move. Man, there was more than I thought. Boxes of mementos, books from his library, hunting and fishing things, tools and yard stuff and so much more. It was a lot. So, the process started, and I did do a pretty good job of cleaning it up. I gave some away, donated some, threw some stuff away and kept a few things. I cleaned out 15 totes and there are so many empty ones now! It felt good to clean out and not only Mark’s stuff but mine and the girls also. I still wasn’t done though because there were a few boxes of office stuff and other miscellaneous things I just wasn’t sure of what I wanted and needed to do with. This last week I decided to go through the rest of the boxes.
Do you know what I realized? For me, I realized that the stuff left over had been sitting in the garage for over 2 years and I hadn’t missed any of it. I had already gone through the things that meant something to me and the girls. I had given Bibles and books away to family and friends. I had done what I believe to be a good job of making sure everyone that wanted something that was a memory of Mark got it. I was talking to my brother Paul the day I was going through the garage. He said to me that the best memories are written on the tablet of our heart. That struck me because of course that is right. No amount of stuff will ever replace Mark being gone. Please believe me when I say that I love having memories around the house to hold and look at that were his. I have one of his lightweight jackets in my car in case I need a jacket and yes, I have my own, but I keep his anyway.
When we were moving from CA to TX the staff wives from the church we had served with for 15 years threw me a going away party. It was amazing and so difficult to say goodbye. There was a saying they put up at the party.
It said: How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
My translation: How lucky I am to have someone that makes saying goodbye so hard.
No matter our loss, if we love someone it is hard to say goodbye. It will seem impossible that we have to say goodbye, but it is something that we will always face in this life on earth. Just try to remember that the greatest and best memories are in your heart. Those are the ones that no one can take away.
Confident in His love
Isaiah 54:10
