Trash Day, Trash cans and Toilets
What do trash day, trash cans, and toilets have in common? Well, let me tell you. Those are some of the things that Mark took care of when he was here. When you are married each of you have things you do inside and outside the house. Now you are doing everything. It is called secondary losses and sometimes they can be as hard a loss as your spouse. OK not necessarily as hard but you realize just how much your spouse did before they are gone and now you are having to pick up the slack, so to speak. At least for me it was an eye opener.
Mark did most of the outside stuff and let’s really be honest, he did it all. He took care of everything outside including being a mechanic for our vehicles. He changed the filters in our cars and the oil. He washed them each week, mowed the lawn, took care of the flower beds and weeds, washed the sidewalks and patio and patio furniture. He took the trash out daily and to the curb weekly. He took care of the dogs. He took care of the bills and such. He did things in the house like changing the air filters, light bulbs in the ceiling, easy fixes for toilets and much more. Once he got sick, I took over some of the daily things outside. I haven’t learned his love for keeping a flower bed nice or weeded! However, I did love learning to ride a zero-turn lawn mower and I have to say I did get pretty good at it. I now find myself doing all those things he did or I am attempting to, along with the inside things I was already doing.
That brings me to trash day and trash cans, and toilets. Simple things that are now my responsibility. Often when I talk about some of the things I really miss about Mark I talk about having to remember to take out the trash. Really! How hard can that be? I just have to get up early two days a week and take out the trash cans. It wasn’t so hard until our trash service changed. They used to come in the late afternoon and now they come at 7 am! I really, really, really do not want to get up and go out that early!! Can you tell I really don’t like it? I am usually awake, so it really is not a big deal except when it is freezing or raining outside. I used to have trash cans and the lids always fell off. Yes, always! And because they fell off one got lost. You know what I did to make my life easier? I went out and bought a big trash can like my recycling one where the lid does not fall off. You know what that new trash can did to make my life easier? My ability to take out the trash the night before even if it is raining or freezing! At least I don’t have to get up early and do it.
Along with taking care of things comes the financial burden of having to pay someone to come look at simple things. Unless you are fortunate enough to be handy yourself or have someone you know who is willing to and can help. I am not handy or at least I wasn’t. I am sure I can do more but I just have not had to. My brother, Paul and his wife, Mel, were up in the area a couple of weeks ago. He is handy so I had a list of things I needed looked at. He came to the house, and we went over the list. One of the items I needed to know about was a whining toilet. I am not just talking a quick whine or whistle, but a 20-second-long whine and it was crazy. I have listened to it for about 4 months and possibly longer. Why? Because it is just a whine and it’s a $99 to $150 consultation fee to just come look at it. Yes, I have the money but it is just the principle for me. I want someone to look for free and then charge me to fix it! Paul told me what it was and showed me. He told me to call and see if it was still in warranty and of course it wasn’t. I went to YouTube and put in the toilet I had, watched them fix it and told myself I can do it! I went to Ace Hardware, my favorite store in Mansfield, and bought the part for $4.00. I came home and dang it if I didn’t fix it myself. It took a little more than the 5 minutes the guy took but it was my first time. You know what? My toilet doesn’t whine anymore. I was so stinking proud of myself. I called my parents to tell them, and they were very proud of me. Yes, at 57 I still want them to be proud of me!
I know those are very simple things and I hope you see the humor in the situations. It isn’t meant to make light of what you have gone or may be going thorough. It’s just meant to say that I know I am stronger than I realize, and I can do more when I put my mind to it. I know there are things around my house that I will not be able to do without real help but for those things that I think I can do, I will try. Give yourself a break if you find yourself in the same or a similar situation as me. Call someone you know and ask for help, YouTube or Google it. For those bigger things go ahead and call a handyman…just make sure he’s cute! Just kidding…mostly!
Confident in His love,
Isaiah 54:10
