friendships

Do you have flourishing friendships? The pastor of my church this past week preached on friendships. He used the verse in Genesis 2:18 where God says It is not good for man to be alone. I am sure I have heard that verse used as friendships and not just marriage, but I can’t remember. It struck me though as being so true. We were made for relationships, friendships. Marriage is the main way to have friendship and thank you Lord for that. A good marriage is made up of two people who love, respect, and value each other. You should be each other’s best friend. But we still need friendship outside of marriage. We need those friends who help us along in life, along with our spouse. If you are single you need friendship also. And those aspects still matter. You need to have love, respect, and value each other.

I believe friendship is a necessity, at least that is true for me. Unfortunately, some don’t have friendships and they are lonely. Loneliness has somehow become the norm. I don’t understand that, but I can see how it can happen. I think circumstances in our country over the last few years have not helped. One study showed that: Loneliness has the same effect on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. WOW! How very sad. John Ortburg said: I have never known anyone who was isolated, lonely, unconnected, had no deep relationships yet had a meaningful and joy filled life. Makes sense to me.

If you have one true friend by your side, you are richer than many. If you have nothing in life but a good friend, you are rich. I am so glad that I can say I am rich. I have been very blessed.

Ecclesiastes 49:9-10 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

Two sides of the same coin: it is ok to have alone time and it is necessary. As much as we need friendship, relationship, we will need time alone. Time with Jesus, time to reflect, and pray; time to regroup and take a deep breath; time alone to rest and have some peace. All the while knowing we need friendships to keep us honest, safe, accountable, loved, known, and in a right relationship with the Lord.  

Friendship changes throughout our lifetime. When we are teenagers and probably into our 20’s, we tend to have a lot of friends. However, as we mature, get married, have children, grow in our relationship with the Lord, our friendships change or maybe I should say, they need to change. Maybe not all our friendships but they do change. I have found in my 50’s that my friendships are not the same as I had in my 20’s. The friendships I have developed over the last few years have been more meaningful and have been encouraging to me. They are the friendships that will last my lifetime. Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one may sharpens another. 

If you find yourself without any true friends, here are three things you can do. Pray for a godly, deep, rich friend. Ask God to give you friends and He will. Prioritize finding a friend. We make a priority in our life the things that are important to us. Make finding a friend a priority. Pursue friendships. We can’t be passive about it. You may need to get involved in your church, a small group, women’s activities at your church, your children’s school, or sports team. If you make yourself friendly you will find friends.

 A best friend is someone who makes you laugh even when you think you’ll never smile again. I have found that to be so true.

Count up the true friends you have who can be honest with you, who cry and laugh with you, who understand you and who love you no matter what. I hope you have at least one and if you have more, you are blessed.

Confident in His love

Isaiah 54:10