man, this sucks
What kind of title is that? Well, hang on and I will explain. When I started writing this, Meagan, Malory, 2 of my grandchildren, and I were in the car headed to Colorado. My mother-in-law was in the hospital and not doing well. At the time we didn’t know what the outcome would be, but we wanted to be there to help where we could. She has been my other mom for almost 40 years. We did make it to Colorado, but not in time to say goodbye in person. She is now with Jesus who she loved with all her heart. If you had the privilege to know her, you could tell her love for the Lord by talking to her and seeing her countenance. She was giving, loving, faithful, loyal, and kind. She is with her parents and many others who she knew and loved. She is also with her son, Mark. My friend Jody and I were talking soon after mom’s passing about what that moment must have been like. I know she saw Jesus first and that is the best part of Heaven. Being with her Heavenly Father who died for her and has made a place for her. Jody said she could just imagine what the moment after seeing Jesus must have been like. Maybe she heard the words, “hi mom”! WOW! I am crying thinking about that. For a parent to have lost a child before them and be reunited in Heaven must be one of the best things about Heaven. Jody would know because her Ella Kate who was 10 when she passed, is up there with Jesus. I know that Jody longs to hear those words, “hi mama”.
Of course, we don’t really know how it will be up there or at least I don’t know. I know it will be amazing. I don’t know if our loved ones will know us as their spouse, parents, siblings, child, best friend. All I do know is that we will be with Jesus, and we will know each other. I think if I worry too much about Mark remembering me as his wife, it may make me a little anxious. So, I choose to think that he will know me, and let that be enough.
A few days after mom passed, I was staying with my father-in-law for the day. I was sitting watching him grieve the loss of his precious wife of 61 years. I gave him Kleenex and hugged him, and I know that didn’t help, not really. In that moment all he needed was time, so I just sat watching over him. It hasn’t even been three weeks, so it is still very fresh for all of us. It took me back to the days of losing Mark and how hard those first few days were. Mom was taken suddenly, and Marks was over a course of a couple of years. Neither is good, I know. I am very grateful for one thing in each loss, the ability to say goodbye. I was able to be with Mark and hold his hand when he passed. Even though I couldn’t be with the family, my sister-in-law, Shauna, held the phone up to mom’s ear so I could say goodbye. Dad was able to hold mom’s hand as she passed, and she was surrounded with her daughter, son and other family. That should give me comfort, and after all is said and done, it does. I have decided that not everything has to make sense and give me immediate comfort. Sometimes it takes a moment. It takes a moment to catch our breath, to try to get through the next moment, to try and gather ourselves together and breathe.
I know that any loss whether it be a spouse, child, best friend, parent, sibling, cousin, niece or nephew, grandchild, or you insert your loss, is heartbreaking. Those who have never lost a child can’t know the pain of those who have; especially if that child was lost at a young age. Those who have never lost a spouse can’t know the pain of those who have. We expect that our parents will pass before us, but not at a young age. If we lose them early in life, they don’t get to watch us grow up, get married, meet our future spouse, or watch our children grow up. The reality is that as unfortunate and heartbreaking as death is, for those of us who know where our loved one has gone, it should give us comfort. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. This means that Christians should have hope that they will see their Christian loved ones again in Heaven. What a great promise!
I am not saying this is an easy road, because it most definitely is not. The last few weeks have brought death to our family, and it has been hard for me and my girls. It has been hard for my second family. I have a nephew who has been faced with the loss of 4 friends in the last year and the fourth friend was recent and so unexpected. He is grieving and struggling. It is never an easy road and yes, it sucks. See, there it is. But, if you believe God is in control, and you trust Him, you can rest assured, He knows our pain. He loves us. Lean into Him and allow Him to comfort you in your pain and with your loss.
Confident in His love
Isaiah 54:10
